Sunday, November 4, 2018

DEMENTIA - today I am angry or should I say pissed?

Our youngest daughter was here recently and when my husband had a appointment with a new Neurologist I asked her to come along because I knew she'd ask questions I would never think of. The new Neurologist in town is young, thorough and wonderful. After several tests no one did before she asked us in her office to show us the MRI of his brain that  his original doctor ordered and I supplied. She showed us that he had several strokes, not just the two we were told about which landed him in the hospital, the nursing home for rehab, home with home health and then outpatient physical therapy.

His original doctor had diagnosed him with vascular dementia, he said at the time that he didn't like the word Alzheimers. Stupid me I never thought anything of it and didn't question him. He said that the arteries in his head were being blocked hence the vascular dementia.

The new doctor said that his arteries are only 97% blocked which isn't bad for a 97 year old man. She said his diagnosis is Dementia/Alzheimers.

I am angry that the doctors were not HONEST with me, did they think I couldn't take it? I am a child of WWII, spent the first three years of my life in a air raid shelter, we lost our home, went to a small village in the Swabian Albs and lived off the land and the doctor thought I couldn't take it. In my life I've been through hell, I've lived through it, gotten stronger and I am proud of who I have become.

On her last day here my youngest daughter cried her heart out, when I asked her why? She said "you have it so hard." Yes it is, but it isn't as hard as it would be without my husband, so whatever comes my way I'll live through it.

Sunday, October 14, 2018

Dementia, this that and anything else.

Time flies wether you want it to or not, so today is Sunday October 14.2018, I want to hold on to today, why? How the hell should I know? It rained last night, we needed it and today there are clouds in the sky and I hope that more rain is in the forecast. Living in the desert I miss rain, it has been a while since we had any and the earth soaks it up and the desert will bloom beautifully in spring, all yellow colors, the Brittlebush, the Palo Verde tree and many other plants. There is nothing on the agenda except washing bedding and making my husband breakfast, lunch and dinner today. I consider this a peaceful day, no drama, no confusion except why doesn't this football addict watch football? Instead he is bent over a book of crossword puzzles, he can no longer do them but copies from the back and that is fine, it means he is doing something and can still write.

I see improvement, not in his dementia but in his physical being. I still take him to exercise three times a week and the other day we walked along the lake, we walked about one half mile with sitting on a bench here and there. Now that it's not so hot outside, well walk more often. At exercise they admire this 97 year old man, he is an example to others who are not as fit, it's sad that his memory is not good, but as in everything there are good days and not such good days. I figured out a long time ago that you have to deal with what life hands you and so I've come to a certain kind of peace.

I have conversations with him and don't get answers often, sometimes I notice that he fudges them, gives a generic answer that could cover anything, I think it's fine, at least it keeps the wheels turning. Poker will start again soon and I asked his friends to let me know if he can still play, he's needed a little help in the past and they give it gladly, but the day will come when that will no longer help, it will be okay, because he'll forget that he once played.

It's a dreadful and sad disease for him and his family, he never talks about it, does not express fear or anything else, always accepts what it given, never argues or gives an opinion, that makes me sadder than anything.

Saturday, April 14, 2018

MY LIFE WITH DEMENTIA

I"ve written about Dementia before so this is an update, nothing much has changed, I am still the only caregiver of my husband, but now I take a mild drug for anxiety. I hate having to take something, but if I am to take care of my husband with love and compassion rather resentment that my old life is gone, my doctor and I decided it is best.

My husband is still the healthiest 96 1/2 year old you'll ever meet, I take him to ProWellness with is part of ProTherapy, if you have attended the latter, you pay less than if you had never been to therapy there. There is a trainer who works with him on various parts of his body. If I tell the trainer that my husband had trouble getting onto the sidewalk, he will work on that problem. Outside of exercise three or four times a week, I have him walk around the pool at least once a day, hot weather permitting.

Lately his appetite has reduced significantly, it could be the dementia or it could be that he gained a lot of weight and he is trying to slim down. He is taking the drug "Namenda" for his dementia, in addition to that several vitamins like B12, VirtVite which it the generic for Foltex, a multi vitamin, coconut capsule, all recommended by the neurologist who left town, now all we have is a neurologist that comes from Las Vegas every Friday, but mostly he sees the physician assistant or nurse practitioner. It is not a satisfactory arrangement, but it is all we have. There is NO CURE for dementia, the Namenda is supposed to slow it down and from dementia group I understand that it is only supposed to last two years, I can't tell. He was diagnosed with "vascular dementia", the arteries in his head are hardening, he has had two small strokes, before that several TIA's.

A friend and I recently attended a two day workshop held by the Dementia Connection of Lake Havasu City. The speaker or I think of her as the teacher was TEEPA SNOW. It was a refresher for me but there was a lot of new information. You can see/hear Teepa Snow on YouTube, she is simply fabulous. I had a private conversation with her and her advice to me was "do something fun for you." I haven't done that yet and don't know if I'll get around to it. My husband gets confused around strangers so I make sure that he is only surrounded by people he knows.

His old friend from the Golden K Kiwanis days pick him up for poker every Wednesday and it is surprising how often he wins. He is still good with numbers which is surprising. I am thankful to them for their kindness.

Life is not easy, but we muddle through it and I am grateful every day that he is still with me.

I hope some people will ready this, I'd appreciate a note to let me know this helped or enlightened you. I will be glad to answer any questions. Thank You for reading this.

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