Thursday, January 26, 2017

Dementia cotinues

Nate and our friend Della who is just a few years younger, this was in 2014

That man you see there is the same he always was with the exception of memory loss, that has deteriorated somewhat as has comprehension. I lay out his clothes, tell him to brush his teeth, change this or that. The most important thing is that he is happy, if his situation worries him or if he comprehends fully what is going on he doesn't share that. He has always been a private man, a happy man who lived by the saying "he who anger you conquers you," and trust me I have tried to anger him in 36 1/2 years of marriage. I am his full time caregiver, no family member has called to ask "how are you doing mom, how are you handling it all?" No one has offered to come for a few days to give me a break from care taking. Am I angry? On days when I am on the ground with fatigue I damn them all. When I have some rest I tell myself to enjoy the days we have together, to laugh, to be sad and all in all we just take it one day at a time. I have never paid bills and now I have to and I absolutely hate it, I see money going out by the truck load and coming in seems never enough, but I handle it and do the best I can. I attend support group twice a month and if it were not for that I don't know what I would do, there at least we share our burden, laugh some time and others not. I am thankful for the support group and in general I am thankful that I still have my husband who will be 96 in June with me and hope to have him for years to come.