Souls

I'm sure that I'm not the only person in the Universe that has thoughts coming out of nowhere, thoughts that need/want answers. This morning I thought of the "Soul", does it really exist? Like all the Gods who are invisible, is the soul really invisible? People will say, "you are such a good soul, you have such soul, you were born with an old soul." 

We are taught that when we die the soul leaves the body and only our shell remains. I thought that the soul is damn smart, I'd leave a body too if it was about to be buried six feet under. If you put the choice on  a scale, on one side "buried" on the other "flying free" which would you select? I'd definitely taken the "fly free" choice. 

I spent several days at the bedside of a dying woman in Rio Rancho, New Mexico. On her final day the usually flawlessly blue New Mexico sky was overcast threatening rain. She was in a light coma already, but I think she was aware of what was going on around her. Her son had flown in from Chicago, he was trying to reconcile with his mother, he had not spoken to her in several years. I had kicked her drama queen daughter out trying to tell her that THIS was not about her. 

I kept murmuring to the patient that she should follow the light, walk toward those who had preceded her, that they were waiting for her with open arms. He breath kept getting shallower and at times it was hard to tell whether she was still breathing. At my final "follow the light, it's okay to go" the sky opened like an upturned trumpet and the sun shone through and I could feel her leave. She drew her final breath and quietly slipped through the light. I looked at her and it was the first time in my life that I saw a body without the soul, an empty house, a shell. I felt that I had seen her soul slip through the light and her son and I hugged each other. I told him that I am so sorry, he said "no you are not, we both know she suffered too much and too long." I knew that the soul had left, but certainly didn't "see" it, it was a light and happy moment, and the end of suffering and the release to what many say is a better place.